1.  What is the leading cause of death with lesbians 
    Answer: Hair balls. 

2.  What can Life Savers do that men cannot? 
    Answer: Come in five flavors 
 
3.  What is good on pizza but bad on pussy? 
    Answer: Crust 
 
4.  Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey? 
    Answer: Because Kermit likes sweet and sour pork 

5.  How can you tell if you have a high sperm count? 
    Answer: If your girlfriend chews before swallowing 
 
6.  What do you get when you get Raggedy Ann and the Pillsbury Dough Boy together? 
    Answer: A red headed bitch with a yeast infection 
 
7.  How do you piss off Winnie The Pooh? 
    Answer: By sticking your finger in his honey 
 
8.  What is the ultimate rejection? 
    Answer: When your masturbating and your hand falls asleep 
 
9.  What did Bill Clinton say to Monica? 
    Answer: I told you to lick my erection, not wreck my Election. 

10.  What does pizza delivery man and a gynecologist have in common? 
     Answer: Both can smell it but can't eat it 
 
11.  What do you call a blonde with pigtails? 
     Answer: A blow job with handle bars 

12.  What do you call a group of blondes on roller skates? 
     Answer: A mobile sperm bank. 

13.  What do you call a blonde with a dollar bill over her head? 
     Answer: All you can eat for under a buck. 
 
14.  What do you get when you mix a rooster with a telephone pole? 
     Answer: A 30ft cock that wants to reach out and touch someone. 

15.  What do you call a virgin on a waterbed? 
     Answer: A cherry float. 

16.  What did the sign on the door of the whorehouse say? 
     Answer: Beat IT - we're closed 
 
17.  Why do walruses go to Tupperware parties? 
     Answer: To find a tight seal. 
 
18.  What do you do with 365 used rubbers? 
     Answer: Melt them down, make a tire, and call it a Goodyear. 
 
19.  What's the difference between sin and shame? 
     Answer: It is a sin to put it in, but it's a shame to pull it out. 
 
20.  What's the speed limit of sex? 
     Answer: 68; at 69 you have to turn around. 
 
21.  Why did Raggedy Ann get thrown out of the toy box. 
     Answer: She kept sitting on Pinocchio's face, and 
             moaning, "Lie to me!" 
 
22.  Why is air a lot like sex? 
     Answer: Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any. 
 
23.  What's another name for pickled bread? 
     Answer: Dill-dough 

24.  Why did Frosty the Snowman pull down his pants? 
     Answer: He heard the snow blower coming. 
 
25.  Why are Monica Lewinsky's cheeks so puffy? 
     Answer: She's withholding evidence 
 
26.  What's the difference between light and hard? 
     Answer. You can sleep with a light on. 
 
27.  Why do women rub their eyes when they get out of bed? 
     Answer: Because they don't have balls to scratch. 
 
28.  Why is sex like a bridge game. 
     Answer: You don't need a partner if you have a good hand. 

29.  What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common? 
     Answer: Their balls are just for decoration.