A VISITORS' GUIDE TO ST LOUIS, MO, America's Gateway to the West

1.  Forget the traffic rules  you learned else where. St Louis has its
    own version of traffic rules...Hold on and  pray.

2.  The Chamber of Commerce calls getting through traffic a "scenic
    drive."

3.  The morning rush hour is  from 6:00 to 10:00. The evening rush hour
    is from 3:00 to 7:00. Friday's rush  hour starts Thursday morning.

4.  If you actually stop at a  yellow light, you will get rear ended.

5.  Gravois Road can only be pronounced by a native.

6.  Construction on Highway 40 is a way of life,and a permanent form of
    entertainment.

7.  If someone actually has their turn signal on, it is probably a
    factory defect.

8.  All old ladies with blue hair in Cadillacs have the right of way.

9.  Laclede Station Road road mysteriously changes names as you cross
    intersections.

10.  If asking directions in the North side, you must have knowledge of
     Ebonics.

11.  A trip across town will take a minimum of four hours.

12.  Don't carry money, jewelry, family, etc., on Martin Luther King 
     Drive.

13.  The wrought iron on windows in East St Louis isn't ornamental.

14.  Never stare at the driver of the car with the bumper sticker that
     says, "Keep honking. I'm reloading."

15.  If you are in the left lane, and only going 70...people are not
     waving when they go by.

16.  The Highway 270 is our daily version of the Nascar circuit.