Life of Dick

It ain't easy being a Dick. 

I've got a head I can't think with, 

An eye I can't see out of, 

I have to hang around with two nuts all the time,

My closest neighbour is an arsehole, 

Worst of all, my owner BEATS me all the time, 

And my best friend is a pussy, 

And now because of AIDS,

I have to wear a rubber suit and throw up all over myself.