LAWS OF PHYSICS CONTEST WINNERS

GRAND PRIZE WINNER
When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet, and when toast is =
dropped, it always lands with the buttered side facing down. I propose =
to strap buttered toast to the back of a cat; the two will hover, =
spinning inches above the ground. With a giant buttered cat array, a =
high-speed Monorail could easily link New York with Chicago.
RUNNERS-UP: =20
#1
If an infinite number of rednecks riding in an infinite number of pickup =
trucks fire an infinite number of shotgun rounds at an infinite number =
of highway signs, they will eventually produce all the world's great =
literary works in Braille.
#2
Why Yawning Is Contagious: You yawn to equalize the pressure on your =
eardrums. This pressure change outside your eardrums unbalances other =
people's ear pressures, so they must yawn to even it out.
#3
Communist China is technologically underdeveloped because they have no =
alphabet and therefore cannot use acronyms to communicate ideas at a =
faster rate.
#4
The earth may spin faster on its axis due to deforestation. Just as a =
figure skater's rate of spin increases when the arms are brought in =
close to the body, the cutting of tall trees may cause our planet to =
spin dangerously fast.
HONORABLE MENTION:
#1
Birds take off at sunrise. On the opposite side of the world, they are =
landing at sunset. This causes the earth to spin on its axis.
#2
The reason hot-rod owners raise the backs of their cars is that it's =
easier to go faster when you're always going downhill. Besides, they get =
better gas mileage that way.
#3
The quantity of consonants in the English language is constant. If
omitted in one place, they turn up in another. When a Bostonian "pahks"
his "cah," the lost r's migrate southwest, causing a Texan to "warsh" =
his
car and
invest in "erl wells."