Things you'll never hear a woman say: 



o Could our relationship be more physical?   I'm tired of just being 
    friends. 

o Go ahead and leave the seat up. 

o I think hairy butts are really sexy. 

o Hey, get a whiff of that one. 

o Please don't throw that old t-shirt away,   the holes in the armpit 
    are just too cute. 

o This diamond is way too big. 

o I won't even put my lips on that thing unless I get to swallow. 

o Wow, it really is 14 inches! 

o Does this make my butt look too small? 

o I'm wrong, you must be right again. 

o I think belching is really sexy. 

o Sure, I'd love for us to have three-way sex with my best friend. 

o Why don't you go out with your friends   to see the strippers
   tonight? 

o I could never be with any other man, but   I don't mind at all if you
   see other women. 

o I insist that you always put your mother before me 

o I love a good cigar after sex 

o I think we should spend our life savings   and buy a big, old 
    sailboat. 

o Move over, I'm driving. I love city traffic. 

o The smell of oil and gas makes me horny.   Let's do it on the 
    workbench. 

o That porn star Dixie Dynamite sounds like one heads-up chick.   I
wish I could meet her one day. 

o It's so romantic when you pull out and cum on my back. 

o Let's skip that stage show with Mel Gibson   and go watch the Tyson 
fight at a bar. 

o That shirt doesn't smell bad enough to need washing.   Wear it again 
    today. 

o Your buddies tell the best stories.  I could listen to them all day. 

o I understand. 

o You don't swear enough. 

o I love it when you finger me while you drive. 

o Let's stay at that dirty, old motel on the highway.   It's cheaper
and we can spend the money we save on beer. 

o Don't fix the toilet, I'll just keep going in the bushes outside. 

o Sure, you can wear your old work boots at our wedding.   They go with
   anything. 

o I think I'll call him up and ask him out. 

o Sleeping with all the guys on the softball team   doesn't make that 
   girl a slut! She's just really friendly. 

o I farted again. Lift the covers so we can smell it. 

o Don't dirty a knife or fork, eat with your hands like me. 

Oh yeah,... *any* hole you want!!!